Family Bytes

Feed the Pig: Why Your Dreams May Not Get You Where You Want to Go

The sign said it all: Walt Disney World: Where Dreams Come True.

Our kids' enthusiastic screams were louder than an arena filled with pre-teen girls at a Justin Bieber concert. For months, our kids constantly wondered, planned and fantasized about what Disney would be like until finally, the time arrived when we drove up to the front gates for our one-day, trip of a lifetime to Disney’s Magic Kingdom.

The day was spent doing everything Mickey and his friends had to offer. As we went back to our hotel, our exhausted family reminisced about our epic adventure. During the conversation, I noticed our five-year-old daughter wasn’t saying much, so I asked her, “Did you have a good time today?” 

“Yes,” she replied. “But my dream did not come true. My dream was to be a fairy like Tinkerbell.”  

My first response was Awwww, how cute is that?  Then, it was Awwww, how sad is that? My little girl believed the promise Disney made

Isn’t this somewhat like our marriages?

Many of us enter marriage believing this is where all our dreams will come true. (Cue the Cinderella music.)

Though seriously, why wouldn’t we have this expectation? When we marry the woman or man of our dreams, shouldn’t everything else just fall into place? Because once we have our soulmate, then we can concentrate on building our dream life together … finding our dream job which will give us our dream salary, so we can buy our dream house and go on dream vacations … living the dream! 

Here is the problem: our dreams reveal what we want as individuals. However, it could distract us from asking the more pressing question, “What kind of couple or family do we want to become?”

I believe all couples need to ask the question, “Who do we want to be as a family?”  When we start to wrestle with and discuss this question with our spouse, it provides clarity and a common destination for our marriage. When we have a destination in mind, we can take action. This is because the destination determines the direction, and direction determines the decisions and eventually the action taken.  

In my experience answering that question can be very challenging. Fortunately for us, God tells us where He wants to take our lives and relationships. 

But what happens when we live God’s way? He brings gifts into our lives, much the same way that fruit appears in an orchard—things like affection for others, exuberance about life, serenity. We develop a willingness to stick with things, a sense of compassion in the heart, and a conviction that a basic holiness permeates things and people. We find ourselves involved in loyal commitments, not needing to force our way in life, able to marshal and direct our energies wisely. Galatians 5: 22-23 (The Message Paraphrase)

God is more concerned with the people, spouses and parents we are than the things we have. God has a plan, not a dream, for our lives and relationships. He is working to ensure we become the people described above. Our responsibility is to embrace the destination God has, remind each other of what is most important and encourage each other along the way.

Over the next few weeks, take this action. Review Galatians 5:22-23 and share with your spouse how you see each of these attributes growing in their life. Then, talk about how each of you sees these attributes growing in your marriage.

Are you tired of trying to live the dream?  Perhaps it is time to give God’s plan a try.


Posted by Freddie Albaugh at 8:00 AM
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