Disconnected A few years ago I was putting out parking lot signs, jumping on an "EXIT" sign, trying to get it in the ground, and the cross bar that I was jumping on broke. I turned my ankle and went rolling across the wet grass. It's one of those things where you have to recover fast because you know CNN is going to be right there reporting to the whole world "A man escaped today, he was found rolling in the grass and putting up strange signs. He's been taken... Read More

Mesquite cologne   Did you ever notice that the way you smell and the way you look aren't always the same? I was doing a little last minute clean-up one day and found 3 bags of grass, you know, like you've got in front of your house after you cut the grass. I guess they had been there about a week, they had that rotten garbage smell. Of course the bags were made from the thinnest plastic known to man. So as soon as I picked one up it started to leak. Not really a big... Read More

Like you didn't already know.. Have you ever seen the commercial on the Discovery channel where all these people standing on the beach in their swimming suits looking out at the water, then it switches to people around a swimming pool, just standing there looking at the water, then it shows 4 little kids looking at a 6 inch deep wading pool in their back yard, staring at the water and the voice says "Shark week is coming…..like you didn't already know". ... Read More

Where's my underwear? Did you ever finish tying your shoes and realize you don't have any underwear on? Somewhere between taking a shower (I think I did that because my hair is still wet, but I don't really remember it) and tying my shoes I missed something. You know, when your life gets this way you're either too stressed, too tired, or too focused. Your wife moves the furniture and you fall over it every time you walk through the room. You keep checking your watch... Read More